The Bakery

Pam:
Umm… does anyone know how long a croissant needs in the microwave? It just caught fire a little bit.

Will (Finance):
Caught fire?!
Pam, the microwave is for reheating, not… cremation.

Pam:
Well, it said “10 seconds,” and I thought… okay, maybe “10 minutes” to be safe?

Will:
TEN MINUTES?!
Pam, that’s not safe — that’s arson.

Karen (HR):
Oh God… is this an HR incident? Do I need a form for “microwave trauma”? I don’t have a form for kitchen fires. Should I make one? Is this a legal thing? Should I call Lenny?

Jim (Sales), calmly stirring his coffee:
Relax. It’s just a little smoke.
Looks like our monthly team performance review.

Pam:
Should I… maybe open the window?

Will:
No! The alarm will go off!
If the sprinklers activate, Finance will absolutely collapse.
Water damage is not in this quarter’s budget!

Karen:
Okay, okay, everyone stay calm.
Pam, sweetie, you can’t microwave bakery items for ten minutes.
Next time, ask someone with… you know… experience.

Pam:
You mean… like a chef?

Jim:
She means literally anyone else.

(Microwave beeps ominously.)

Will:
It’s still beeping! Greg said if it beeps like that we should unplug it.
But last time Robert unplugged something, half the servers went down.

Karen:
Should I call Greg?

Jim:
No, then he’ll lecture us for 20 minutes and write an email about “proper appliance protocols.”

Pam:
Sooo… should I just… take the croissant out?

Will:
Pam.
Please don’t touch anything else.
Finance cannot afford another tragedy before lunch.