Office Chronicles #2 Robert Thompson (CEO)
Age: 60Mindset: 1997Technological Skill: 0.8 out of 100Confidence Level: 10,000 out of 100 Twice divorced with four kids he constantly complains about funding. He looks
Widget Corp. was founded twenty‑five years ago by Robert Thompson and has heroically avoided progress ever since. While other companies sprinted into the future with digital workflows, cloud solutions, AI integration, cybersecurity, and maybe even a working printer, Widget Corp. chose a different path — a path paved with nostalgia, denial, and Windows XP.
Our company’s guiding principle has remained unchanged for decades:
“If it ain’t broke, don’t touch it.
If it is broke, Greg will touch it.”
(The second line wasn’t originally part of the motto. It got added after Greg fixed something once in 2008 and has regretted it ever since.)
The office operates on a delicate ecosystem of outdated software, fossilized procedures, and employees who have emotionally detached from the concept of improvement. Some say our internal processes are so old they qualify for museum preservation. Others say they’re held together entirely by “temporary fixes” Robert approved in 2003. Either way — welcome aboard.
Here at Widget Corp., you’ll quickly notice our unofficial-but-very-real motto:
“If it worked in 1999, it probably still works.
And if it doesn’t, someone will fix it… eventually… maybe… we’ll see.”
Please enjoy your stay in an environment where change is feared, documentation is mythical, printers are immortal, and the only cloud we acknowledge is the one Robert complains about when it blocks the sun.
Age: 60Mindset: 1997Technological Skill: 0.8 out of 100Confidence Level: 10,000 out of 100 Twice divorced with four kids he constantly complains about funding. He looks